She was smart, confident, uninhibited and open about her feelings. She always looked so happy and ‘perfect’ in Surabhi’s eyes. It made her wish that she could be like her. Then, one day, Kavita came up to her and said “Hi!” She complimented Surabhi’s hair and how pretty she looked, which made her drop a tear or two.
Kavita kept probing her until Surabhi confessed how her mother never let her sleep, how she could not study ‘enough’ and just couldn’t make time, and then Kavita told her how the same things happened to her, and so she tried a new timetable which helped her.
Kavita asked Surabhi how she felt then, but she said "Nothing can ever help me". Then Kavita suddenly got all serious and said “If you don’t let yourself be helped, you won’t be helped”. Surabhi ran to the girl’s restroom, looked in the mirror, and realised that she had been betraying herself by telling herself that she could never succeed and everyone else was ahead of her not making any mistakes.
She told this to Kavita, when she confirmed to her that everyone including herself always went through times when they simply couldn’t achieve their goals overnight and had to do the job bit by bit. Surabhi was hit by a wave of discernment, how she had been gatekeeping a lot from her friends without actually knowing. When she was with them not much came out of her mouth and she just tried pushing her fears and problems under the rug because why would she trouble them with her problems, wouldn’t that just make her ‘uninteresting’, ‘cry-baby’ or ‘too sensitive and uncool’.
Kavita told her that it’s always okay to feel your feelings and first sort her things out before approaching a friend. Surabhi felt renewed and comforted for the first time in weeks and just decided to be grateful.
------------------------------------------- The End ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Shambhavi Nautiyal
Class- 10
Ahlcon Public School
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