What is peer pressure, and how can we deal with it? - Shambhavi Nautiyal

Reading Chapter 43, Sunday the 26th of March 2023

Peer pressure is the direct or indirect influence of our peers which tells us that we need to act in a certain way like the people surrounding us. It is often observed in teenage but continues as an existing matter throughout our lives regardless of age. It is a trap which makes people victims of many addicting and harmful practices. It could be wrong personality traits such as people pleasing and sometimes ruinous activities like smoking and drugs. 

It starts with compellingly curious intentions of just wanting to fit in, make friends and enjoy company, but later on, it becomes a habit. For instance, something often seen in the present youth is the following of the perpetually changing Instagram trends by young school-going teenagers to feel accepted and admired. 

We see kids going out of their way to follow social media trends and become famous because of peer pressure and the fact that this is seen as the definition of likeable and "cool". In school, too, we see popular girls and students liked by most of our peers or teachers, and we try to become like them. We observe that because of some of their habits, many people appreciate and admire them. To gain that popularity, we try to procure their idolized external features, skills or behaviours. In light of this fact, in this process, we lose ourselves. We lose our own identities. 

We never learn to love ourselves since we are compared to others by ourselves or our parents to our peers. We become even lonelier because of masking ourselves and never focusing on nurturing ourselves. We are left with no friends of our own, not even ourselves. Even when we stop trying to be like others, we still take that habit of people pleasing with us, in which we let people cross our boundaries and put them before ourselves, creating a frail sense of self-worth. However, we can fight it, come out of it and fix this whole scenario. 

As for me, I had been in some influencing company, and over time, I noticed that I had become a people pleaser and that I had been neglecting myself for my peers. I was listening more to them rather than my piece of mind. So, to fix those habits, I had to release that person from my life and start instilling healthier relationship patterns in my attitude. I had to change my outlook by changing my behaviour and thoughts. I had to make it clear to myself that it was okay for me to put myself and think about myself first before taking any decision instead of following my friends blindly and speculating about their behaviours, meaning how they treat me. I had to fix my sense of self-worth. 

So it is salient to love ourselves so that we don't compare ourselves to others and don't let others' judgements affect us, which calls out for having a deep sense of self-worth. We should practice self-compassion and not let ourselves get trapped in the vicious trap of peer pressure cause each one of us deserves to be loved, adored and treated like the queens and kings we are. So before judging yourself after seeing someone else, remind yourself of and be grateful for how confounding, worthy and attractive you are.

Always keep that in mind before wandering to search for love outside; look inside, and you will find the person who has always been and shall always be ready to love you.

Shambhavi Nautiyal Ahlcon Public School

Player Of Games - Gaurangi Rastogi

There is a question for all teenagers here, including myself. "Do you feel that being a teenager is too good to be true?" 

My answer would be yes, as I  have been facing a lot these days, like Peer pressure, jealousy, experimenting with new genres of books, and trying to get my act together to make a comeback to this world of writing blogs and writing a book called "now let me tell you. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I am giving a short intro. So, a teenage girl called Amanda was working as an intern at a graphic design company. She was satisfied with her job. One day, while she was walking back home, she was abducted by some men. The rest will be told in the book. These days, I am studying a lot and the Holiday Homework is just so much. Seeing this problem in managing everything in my life is a challenge I am trying to solve now. This would answer my question to people who question my capabilities, but I will give them intense competition in life. 

I end my writing with the note, 'Just Do it, Girl!' 

Gaurangi Rastogi 

VII 

The Doon Girls' School 

Countering Failure - RP Devgan

It is unfortunate to read about the loss of life among young teenagers who succumb to failure. Doctors and psychologists put it down to emotional stress and depression. If these be the causes, how can one help these children? The root causes are frustration, jealousy, loss of face and fear of failure.

To make children emotionally strong and fight against odds, they must be guided and mentored right from their early years. In Primary School, children are most impressionable. Most of the problems start with comparisons to brighter children. Not-so-bright children become conscious, which leads to jealousy, frustration, loss of self-esteem and lack of confidence. 

The way out of this web is to learn to compete with oneself - forget what the others are doing and concentrate on your improvement. One should set reasonable goals and try to do better one's performance periodically. This gradual improvement brings out the best in an individual. With patience, perseverance and hard work, one gradually rubs shoulders with the best. Concentrating on one's achievement leaves little room for jealousy and heartbreak; children from an early age need to be encouraged to believe in themselves. They need to be told that every child has some talent. It just is waiting to be discovered. Regular encouragement and understanding raise a child's confidence and self-esteem. 

As one starts on the journey to improve, it is crucial to reflect. Pause and look back to see how things are shaping up. Are the proper steps being taken? Too many people in this world repeat their mistakes daily, week after week, month after month and do not realise they are stagnant. They turn into robots.

Teenagers need to have a plan or a timetable they follow. The path to success is slow and, at times, painful. One must not give up. Failure leads to depression. To guard against this, one must learn to face losses and not give in. Most children who are weak emotionally have never participated in activities outside the classroom, be it sports or any extracurricular activities where they have faced disappointment and failure. Failure can be a great teacher. It makes you reflect, gather your wits and prepare for the next time. This makes you emotionally strong, an essential part of your character building.

The other day I was walking down the fairway on the golf course accompanied by a former student. He confessed that playing games and losing matches had taught him to face failure. He admitted that children who were just book worms lost out on building up their emotional strength and strong character. This is why our new NEP 2020 emphasises holistic education, which some call an all-around education.

I wish schools, for the good of children, start following the NEP 2020 guidelines, which will make children emotionally strong and prepare them to face challenges, not give up and not succumb to failure. This will help save the lives of venerable young children and make them happy. They can then look forward to a happy future with confidence and conviction.

Rajinder Pal Devgan
Chairman Learning Forward India
With nearly five decades of experience as an Educationist and serving as a School Leader for schools in India and overseas, Mr Devgan brings rich experience as an administrator, sportsperson, and teacher champion. His love for children further strengthens the My Good School philosophy of every individual's personal and social development with the active support of teachers and faith in experiential learning and learning outside the four walls of the classroom. Former House Master and Dean at The Doon School, currently Member Board of Governors at Welham Boys' School, has settled down at Dehradun to help build Learning Forward India.