What is peer pressure and how can we deal with it? - Rishona Chopra

Peer pressure is the pressure we face from our peers to do something. It indirectly or directly affects us. Often we find ourselves pretending to fit in the crowd, so we start doing things and becoming people we are not. We lose our own identity just to make 'friends'. But friends who force you to do something or friends who you cannot be yourself around aren't really friends, are they?

Each of us has our own identity, which we are given for a reason because we all are unique, we put on a different persona, and it affects no one but us.  

Being with the right company matters a lot. One ripe apple kept with ten other rotten apples will soon rot too. It is better to be alone than with bad friends. 

Dealing with peer pressure, though, is quite a challenge. Often people try to bully us by telling us that we are 'not cool' and 'boring'. But we must remember that the right path is often alone, but being alone doesn't mean we must be lonely. Ignoring people like that is the best way. We need to have a calm and composed mind that knows what is right and wrong. We do what we do, and pressuring someone needs to be corrected. 

When we start ignoring all of this, people start bothering us because peer pressure that makes you do bad things is just to trouble you or force you towards the wrong path. 

While dealing with peer pressure, we might think, "everyone is doing this", or "what could be wrong with this?" but something correct is not what the majority does. People around us may TRY to have a strong influence on us but we have to be that one person who stands on the right path, whether alone or not. Their TRY must be a left a try only and be in vain. 

Because of peer pressure, we start feeling insecure about our own selves and doubting ourselves. All our choices and decisions seem to be made by others and their opinions, but it is OUR life, OUR choices, and they cannot be changed. People may give us good advice that we should always lend an ear to, but then again, there has to be a straight line between right and wrong, people you trust and don't. 

We may need friends at this age, even if that means pretending to do things they don't. It feels terrible when you have no one to sit with you, talk to you and a person you can share your thoughts with, but it's hard to find someone like that, with who you can be yourself ( apart from your parents, of course)!

Sometimes, I am in the impact of my peers. I know what they might be doing is wrong, but I just pretend to do what they do just so I can get along with them, but then you have to remember that you have higher goals in life. You have higher aspirations than pretending or changing yourself to make friends. 

Instead of finding company outside, we can be our own friends! No one knows us better than we do, and no one ever can! 

Rishona Chopra
Grade VII
Gyanshree School

Friendship - Anvesha Rana

In this ever-evolving world, it is necessary to connect with people instantly, attain quick social skills and make friends at go. A person we may have met only once is also referred to as a friend; today, we all confuse friendship with acquaintanceship. An acquaintance is not mandatory to be a friend, but connections to reach higher posts and avail help at times of need are overrated than the subtle, sweet friendships which have vanished over time. 

Friendships come with conditions; they are no longer selfless relationships but a medium to take benefit of the other. We have turned our Friendships into obligations and formalities. How many of us are honest with our friends? We are too fake to show our real identity behind this mask of coolness. Friendships come with a lot of terms and conditions. We can no longer express ourselves freely, even with our “Besties”. 

There is an invisible ice between us, pleading to be broken, but our ego hinders us from shattering our prison. We can never be happy if we are not who we are. This era of jealousy and cutthroat competition is never ending and only increases as we grow up. 

True friends are only made when we are young when we do not pay heed to how someone looks, what clothes they wear, how they talk or whether they match our standards. As we grow, we look away from the beauty within and shift our focus to physical appearance or social stature. Looking at material things gets nowhere. 

We are not our true selves when we step out into the world; consequently, we feel the heat of the competition that this system has forced us under. We are not ready to leave this rat race and sit at the side bench to relax and rejoice in life. The illusion of success has blindfolded us in thick wraps to such an extent that terms and conditions apply in each relationship. The moment we see our friend doing better than us in any field, we are instantly jealous instead of happy for our pal. 

A famous story, ‘ The Frogs in the Well’, tells about a group of frogs living in a small well. None of the frogs ever get out of this well because as soon as one frog jumps up, all the others jump up on him and pull him down. Thus no frog can ever escape. So is the case with us. When we see a dear one doing good, we attempt all tricks, measures and strategies to somehow stop him. 

Friendship should be selfless and ever-flowing with Love and care. It should be about acceptance and forgiveness and not be built upon social norms but on the foundation of Love. 

Anvesha Rana 

Grade 11

Gyanshree School NB: I have used Love as a value, thus the capital letter.

What is peer pressure, and how can we deal with it? - Shambhavi Nautiyal

Reading Chapter 43, Sunday the 26th of March 2023

Peer pressure is the direct or indirect influence of our peers which tells us that we need to act in a certain way like the people surrounding us. It is often observed in teenage but continues as an existing matter throughout our lives regardless of age. It is a trap which makes people victims of many addicting and harmful practices. It could be wrong personality traits such as people pleasing and sometimes ruinous activities like smoking and drugs. 

It starts with compellingly curious intentions of just wanting to fit in, make friends and enjoy company, but later on, it becomes a habit. For instance, something often seen in the present youth is the following of the perpetually changing Instagram trends by young school-going teenagers to feel accepted and admired. 

We see kids going out of their way to follow social media trends and become famous because of peer pressure and the fact that this is seen as the definition of likeable and "cool". In school, too, we see popular girls and students liked by most of our peers or teachers, and we try to become like them. We observe that because of some of their habits, many people appreciate and admire them. To gain that popularity, we try to procure their idolized external features, skills or behaviours. In light of this fact, in this process, we lose ourselves. We lose our own identities. 

We never learn to love ourselves since we are compared to others by ourselves or our parents to our peers. We become even lonelier because of masking ourselves and never focusing on nurturing ourselves. We are left with no friends of our own, not even ourselves. Even when we stop trying to be like others, we still take that habit of people pleasing with us, in which we let people cross our boundaries and put them before ourselves, creating a frail sense of self-worth. However, we can fight it, come out of it and fix this whole scenario. 

As for me, I had been in some influencing company, and over time, I noticed that I had become a people pleaser and that I had been neglecting myself for my peers. I was listening more to them rather than my piece of mind. So, to fix those habits, I had to release that person from my life and start instilling healthier relationship patterns in my attitude. I had to change my outlook by changing my behaviour and thoughts. I had to make it clear to myself that it was okay for me to put myself and think about myself first before taking any decision instead of following my friends blindly and speculating about their behaviours, meaning how they treat me. I had to fix my sense of self-worth. 

So it is salient to love ourselves so that we don't compare ourselves to others and don't let others' judgements affect us, which calls out for having a deep sense of self-worth. We should practice self-compassion and not let ourselves get trapped in the vicious trap of peer pressure cause each one of us deserves to be loved, adored and treated like the queens and kings we are. So before judging yourself after seeing someone else, remind yourself of and be grateful for how confounding, worthy and attractive you are.

Always keep that in mind before wandering to search for love outside; look inside, and you will find the person who has always been and shall always be ready to love you.

Shambhavi Nautiyal Ahlcon Public School